Pardon the absence

I have to say, I love motherhood. It sure isn't boring, and it is never the same thing. It is full of constantly changing seasons. Right when you get it down, it changes again and there is something new to tackle. Some seasons are easy and you think you are the best parent in the world, and some seasons make you question the type of parent you are. I feel like a parent can only be judged by the height of the crisis they face. I have also learned that whatever you are going through is a phase and it will pass.

Both of these things have been on the forefront of my mind recently because I am going through one of those tough seasons. I just feel all discombobulated. I never feel like I have enough time to do anything and it always takes me at least an hour to get out of the house, which leaves me all flustered. Then, there are the kids... Olivia has been such a crier since she was born. She has never really known how to play by herself. She wants to be held all the time, but sometimes a mom has to get some things done around the house, so she ends up crying at my feet, or crawling around the house after me while crying. Add to the situation a toddler who now likes to say "mommy" 5 times every minute (not even joking), even for the most mundane things, and you have a very stressed out person. I have never been so mentally exhausted before. Not to scare anyone off without 2+ children. I guarantee you that this is just a phase that is so worth it for the joy every extra child brings to your life. Like everything else, this too will pass.

Parenting has definitely made me grow like nothing else before. I honestly don't know how I would get through this without my faith, though, because sometimes, that is the only thing that gets my heart in the right place when confronted with two challenging kiddos. Motherhood has been such a refining experience. I'm not drowning right now, but my head is barely above water. Please forgive me as I take some time to try to get things together. I think I need to pull out my organizational binder (it is sorta scary) and get back on top of things. I love New Year's resolutions, so I need to get that list together, as well. Everything has sort of fallen by the wayside recently. For someone who loves to cook, I have scrambled for a meal every night the past couple of months. If you know me, you know something is very wrong. The one thing I did start for this new year is reading through the Bible in 90 days. As you can imagine, it is a huge challenge, so between that and this crazy life, it might be a while until I am back.

Hope you had a stupendous start to the new year. I know I did!